SONGS WE LOVE TO HATE – Gary Neuman’s Cars
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Categories: Chuck's Corner Tags:
Chuck’s Video Blog 12/29/2008
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“Joke of the Day”
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John was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases.
It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
‘Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?’ asked John.
‘Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,’ said Tommy.
The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
‘Son,’ said John, ‘this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.’
‘We went to Bobby’s house and watched a movie.’ said Tommy.
‘What did you watch?’ asked Marsha.
‘The Ten Commandments.’ answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, ‘I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.’
‘I am ashamed of you son,’ said John. ‘When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.’
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, ‘Boy, did you ever ask for that one!
You can’t be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!’
With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
Categories: Humor Tags:
Rush 2112
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Originally released in 1976. Luckily for us kids of the 70’s, back then we had “The Tape of the Month” Club and that album was one of the 8 track tapes you were sent automatically if you didn’t return the “mail in” cancel card on time … Come to think of it, we never returned any of those cards and got “The tape of the month” every month and never paid for any of them and got a shit load of good music!!! … Hey, we were just kids, we didn’t know any better 🙂 Ok, back to the Album, if you don’t have this one, you are a tool for real … First off, it’s a concept album now considered to be a classic. Meaning, each song ties into the next one and the whole album is based on a story. This album is one of the last albums that RUSH came out with that was progressive rock and was real heavy and kicked major ass. From the opening “2112 Overture” laced with thundering sci fi keyboards to the power guitars chords and drums that shortly follow, one can tell the journey is about to begin and you had better hang on. It is an air guitarist’s wet dream album too!!! The lyrics don’t even start until 3:45 minutes into the album. No one does that anymore. These days it’s hurry up and get to the “hook”. Well, the music here is the “hook” and the lyrics are more than just the icing on the cake!! They are about a futuristic civilization that is run by Priests and computers. They control everything. “All the gifts of life are held within our walls” as the song “The Temples of Syrinx” goes. Get the picture? Of course not, I understand. You gotta hear it to understand it. But as the album continues on, it tells the story of a man that finds an ancient instrument (Discovery) hidden behind a waterfall. The instrument he found is a guitar and he slowly teaches himself to play it before he takes “this ancient miracle” (Presentation) to the High Priests to see if he can share it with the common people to bring happiness to them. And that is were the conflict begans. The Priests destroy the guitar and, well, I can’t give the story away. Look, go buy it. It is well worth the money. If this album isn’t in your collection, your not even worthy of being called a tool … I rate it four out of five guitars …
chuck
Categories: Legendary Albums Tags:
Guns N’ Roses – Appetite For Destruction
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From the opening riff of Welcome To The Jungle to the final notes of Rocket Queen, this album grabs you by the balls and doesn’t let go. This album captures the raw energy that made Guns N’ Roses the megaforce that changed the face of the music scene in the late 1980s. It also succinctly captures Axl Rose’s “you can suck me” attitude. Each song is well written and the album covers a wide spectrum of musical styles. GNR managed to mesh the heaviness of Welcome To The Jungle, the anger of Out To Get Me, the melodic genius of Sweet Child O’ Mine, the sexual innuendos of Anything Goes, and the drug related content of Mr. Brownstone into the quinessential rock album. This album still sounds fresh even after having been released more than two decades ago. If you only have one GNR album in your collection, it should be this one.
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Old Porn Stars Need Jobs Too…
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I just finished reading a news article from New Jersey about a “former” adult film actress that was pressured into quitting her job by some uptight parents and some other squeaky clean sinless folks … Seems Crystal Gunns hasn’t been in any movies for at least five years and she was looking for other work. You know, that thing we have to do to make money to feed our families and pay our bills … So she applied for and got a part time job working in a school cafeteria for grade school kids … But as luck would have it … it appears she failed to list “former Adult Porn Star” as one of her prior lists of employment. And it seems some of the folks found out about her former employment … I stop here to wonder how they found out? She used her real given name and not her “adult” name on the application … I wonder if someone recognized her? Remembered her tits? Her face? What do you think? So what … she’s out of the business … She is trying to get along in the “real” world … Real world meaning, getting along with the same people that have probably rented one of her movies and watched it in the comfort and privacy of their own bedroom and then after getting “off” on her … now don’t want her “kind” working around children … Hear me out … She “was” an “Adult” film star, not she “still is”. She didn’t do anything illegal. She made adult movies for adults … that’s all … We all are sexual beings right? I mean we all have gotten naked with someone else and did the deed … right? … So why can’t she seek a normal job and just be allowed to let her work ethics speak for themselves? The article even goes on to say that she also works at a local YMCA with other children and some of those parents even consider her an “excellent role model” … Sounds to me like she is trying to be a productive adult. You know, someone that contributes to society … But some small minded people have made that impossible for her … They asked the school board to dismiss her and for what? For her “Sins” of the past they say … What happen to forgive and forget? … She wasn’t caught sleeping with the kids or showing them how to perform oral sex, she was feeding them in a lunch line … I can only guess that with all the attention and press this is getting they made her life a living hell … I can imagine as they sat around and gloated about how they were successful in getting her to resign and patting each other on the back and saying “Job well done”, she probably sat at home and cried because she needed that part time job … I hope those gloating people are happy … She can’t get a job because basically they have deemed her a harlot in the press or what ever. You exposed her and her real name … so are you happy? You threw stones at her … Shame on all of you that had something to do with her resigning … Like you have never had sex? Have you ever taken a sexy photo of your spouse? ever looked at a “dirty” magazine when you were younger? Relax a little … OK? My Old Scoutmaster, who happens to be a Baptist minister, would even send all us scouts up to our local newsstand to look at the “nudity books” every once in a while … Hell, beside your own “dirty pictures” , some of you probably have her old videos saved to your hard drive somewhere too … I hope you’re happy … now go and jack off to her videos you closed minded bastards …
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WTF happened to News 4U??
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I recently picked up the local magazine News 4U … I’m sure you’ve seen it … It’s everywhere … I remember when it used to be in a larger format but times have changed so I can understand the smaller package it is now … but as I thumbed through the current issue I noticed something … maybe you have too … But first let’s rewind … News4u started around 20 years ago … Which in print terms, is a long time ago. Being around that long is something thats worth bragging about, I will give it that. They have survived when others haven’t … But, I remember when it used to be edgy and showcased not just what was “hip” and “popular” at the time but it also showcased the counter culture. What I would call “not Mainstream” … It catered to “everyone and anyone”. It had it all. It was an outlet from college kids and their bizarre cartoons, opinions and music to the underground clubs and also the “hip” clubs … Whether good or bad, it was in there for the people to read and enjoy … But how times have changed … In this “PC” society that we have to swim around in News 4U has adapted too … They no longer have “underground” comics or articles. .. They have all fallen by the wayside. Even poor Hank the Trucker became a “victim” to the “PC” and his services where no longer needed … So Basically now they are a “middle of the road” type of magazine … Keep it in the middle, nothing edgy and, of course nothing happens … It’s a watered down version of probably what it originally set out to not “represent”. It conformed … it “sold out” .. It lost its “mojo” … Well, unless you consider and ad about Lingerie too “risque”, that’s about the extent of the edginess it will do … So as I thumbed through the issue today, all I saw where ads … Ads where everywhere … so, not that I am a math whiz, I decided to dissect it and count the magazine, page by page and break it down … I would put it into two compartments … Ads & Articles … It was somewhat difficult to decide on some of them, whether or not it was an ad or an article but I did the best I could … and I came up with 26 articles … not bad for a small staff though … so it had 26 points of interest … So next up were the ads … I counted, and I counted … and I counted … seems like there were ads on every page … Now , before we go any further and I get slammed … Yes, I agree, ads do pay for the magazine … They allow it to be able to be given out all over the Tri-State for free … It cost to print them and to distribute them too… OK, point well taken, so back to the tally … So in the end I came up with approx. 86 ads … So basically only 30% of the magazine is dedicated to articles and places of interest and the other 70% of it are “ads” … That’s a lot more ads than articles … So, in conclusion, it shouldn’t be named..”News 4U”, it should just be called … Ads 4U …
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An interview with Fred Bassett of Akacia
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Chuck recently interviewed Fred Bassett of Akacia. In between question, catch snippets of Akacia live. There’s even a full song in there somewhere. Check it out.
Part 1
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Part 2
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Site Launch Coming Soon
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Kick Acts Magazine will mainly focus on the local music scene in KY, IN, & IL. It will also focus on indie music all over the world and other forms of entertainment. The site will officially launch on January 1, 2009.
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