“Star Ship Troopers 3″ Movie Review
“Star ship Troopers”. The first movie in this series released back in 1997 freaking rocked and you even got to see Denise Richard’s boobs before she turned in a reality show nightmare and a spoiled little skinny bitch. I mean so what if Charlie asked you to “dress up” for him in the bedroom and be naughty for him. Come on, you’re an actress, play the part. Charlie has enough money that I would dress up for him and I don’t have a gay bone in my body.
Anyway back to the series. The first movie rocked. The bugs were cool and the CGI effects were great. The whole idea of intelligent bugs fighting back is clever. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a must see. The propaganda commercials during the movie are so real and over the top. “Join the Federation, become a Citizen”. I think it’s a sign of how things will be in the not too distant future. (Not the bug fights but the Government Propaganda. Hey wait, we may already be there!) Fast forward to the second movie in the set “Heroes of the Federation” was also well done. The set up was a little different but still a good movie to watch. The bugs kicked major ass.
So on to the third installment “Star Ship Troopers Marauder” it should at least be in the same ball park as the other two, right? Wrong answer, it sucked out loud. In fact it sucked harder than the band Coheed and Cambria that was with Slipknot the other night, but that’s a different review. I mean what a waste of tape and even though they brought back Johnny Rico, He couldn’t save it either. They over used a line made famous by Lt. Commander Worf from Star Trek. “Today is a good day to die”. Not to mention they sort of poked fun at God throughout the movie. Once again, our future is hinted in the movie and I will give it props for that. By this time all religions are banned and the Government will hang anyone that is anti-Government. That part was good but the jist of the movie was about a guy trying to find “God” and during the movie he keeps quoting scripture and saying “God” talks with me everyday. But not to give the secret away but it’s not God he was talking to. (SPOILER ALERT) He was talking to the “Brain of all Brain” bugs. The story line of the movie was extremely weak and the CGI was awful. It was definitely and awful low budget movie shot straight to DVD. My wife and I watched it and we both agreed it was a waste of 105 minutes of our time. I give it one brain bug out of five.
Chuck Gee
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Coming Soon – Friday The 13th Review
A review for the new Friday the 13 movie is coming soon. And yes, I went to the midnight showing at Stadium 16.
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My New Urologist
As men age, we start seeing more and more of the medical world and its employees, which nowadays seems to have more and more women as our Physicians and Therapists , etc., and in this case a new Urologist for me. My family Doctor just recently referred me to a recent graduate, female urologist. I saw her yesterday, and she’s absolutely drop-dead gorgeous… She told me that I must stop masturbating. I asked her why, and she said, “Because I’m trying to examine you……”
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“Jokes of the Day” 02-13-2009
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his ass!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, “It fucking hurts doesn’t it!”
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How come Mike Tyson’s eyes always water during sex?
Mace…
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A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, “Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we’re going up to our room for a little while.”
Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom.
“Before you look in there,” he says, “keep in mind this is the same woman who smacked our asses just for sucking our thumbs.”
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A mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her young daughter walks in. “Mommy, where do babies come from?” After thinking about it for a moment, the mother explains, “Well, dear, a girl and a boy fall in love and get married. Then, one night they go into their room, hug and kiss, and have sex.” The child looks puzzled. The Mother continues, “That means that daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, dear.” The child replies, “But, the other night when I came into your bedroom, you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that, Mommy?” “Jewelery, dear.”
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