Archive for May, 2009

An Irish Toast

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John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!’ That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, ‘I won the prize for the Best Toast of the Night.’ She said, ‘Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?’ John said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.’ ‘Oh, that is very nice indeed, John !’ Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John ‘s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, ‘John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.’ She said, ‘Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.’

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - May 3, 2009 at 7:26 AM

Categories: Humor   Tags:

This is Supposed to be the “Land of the Free” not the “Land where everything is Free”.

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First off, I don’t owe anyone a damn thing. Second off, I know several people and I have friends that know people too that take everything the Government will give them for “free” even when they don’t need it. They do it because “it’s free”… This gripes my ass…Want money? The Government gives it to them for free. Want food? Here’s a EBT card. Want your car fixed? Here’s a voucher to get it repaired. Want a roof over your head? Sure, why not, here’s housing for you. You want a medical card cause you can call an ambulance for skinned knees and get another check?  Sure, what the hell …  But hear me out ….

Just to set the record straight. I am very thankful that our Government looks out for it’s own people. There are countless American Citizens that are unable to work due to medical conditions, age, being single parents, mental disabilities, in between jobs, etc. I will gladly pay my share of taxes to support these people because they need it and I sure most will agree that they will too. Who knows, one day we may need assistance to due to some unforeseen circumstance like an injury, debilitating disease, loss of a job, etc. What gripes my ass is people that think since its “free” they too are entitled to it even if they don’t need it. If you are unable to work or out of work or have a legit problem, please take the assistance and hold your head up high, it’s there for you. But for the countless other people that can work and choose not to, or the people that manipulate the system to their own benefit even though they clearly are able to support themselves but choose the “free” ride from the Government. You people are to be ashamed.  Need examples? I have plenty.

The first “good” example is my family. My wife and I were a young couple back in the mid 80’s. We had three small kids at the time. We were trying to better ourselves but we needed assistance for  about a year and a half. It was there because we needed it. It wasn’t our “free” ticket. It was our stepping stone to a  better life. We accepted the assistance and worked to get off of it. <——That’s how it is supposed to work. Not make a career out of living off welfare just because you can.  We also needed housing at the time. We moved into the Housing Projects and were quite thankful for it. Once again, it wasn’t gonna be long term. We were determined to get own our feet. The assistance helped us out. It helped put food on the table and a roof over our heads while we worked toward making a better life for ourselves. I remember when we finally took that big step of faith and were moving out to a house that rented for $400.00 a month. That was a lot of money back then. I went to the Housing Authority to tell them we would be moving out. At that time our H.A. rent was $19.00 a month. A huge difference but see, we got it. Use the assistance to get back on your feet. I remember telling the lady at the H.A. the rent difference. She told me she would hold our apartment for us because we would be back in a month. I remember telling her we weren’t coming back. We were getting on our feet but appreciated the help. And with that, we moved out and moved on.

That’s how the system is supposed to work. Granted we should of not had kids before we were financially able to support them but we did. The system helped us out and then we got out of it. We no longer needed it. We let someone else that needed it use it. That is how it is supposed to work. It may take 1 year, 2 years, or 10 years but the game plan is if you able to work to get out of the system, please do it. Don’t take the easy free ride for your entire life. Once again, before someone slams me, if you are disabled, or out of work, unable to work, can’t find a paying job or having trouble making ends meet for now, by all means get help. It’s there for you. And here is my second example, a bad one … what gripes my ass is the people that are second, third or fourth generation welfare recipients because that is the only life they know or have been taught. They have been taught that the Government will take care of you and all your needs so why make an effort? The people like that who are more than able to work but only work the system so they don’ t have to work should not be allowed to waste taxpayers money and suck the system dry. We all know people like this … Agree? Damn right you agree … There are people in every city and every town in the United States that are taking the easy road and living freely off the Government and really stealing money from our pockets. They can work and choose not to, or lie about their situations in order to get assistance. It’s not everyone doing it but it’s a lot … I would safely bet over 50% of the people on it abuse it and it’s time we overhauled the system. Case by case. If you need it, make it easy for you to get assistance. If you are found abusing it, or you are a second, third or fourth generation free loader, you are “off” of it today. And drug testing? Don’t even get me started on it. Of course they should be drug tested. Why you may ask? I work and I have to be drugged tested. So it’s only fair that people getting assistance be tested and if found “hot”, kicked off the system. If they can afford drugs, they can afford to work for them and not expect me to buy them with my tax money.

Need another bad example? And this one is typical too … A guy draws disability all year long. He family draws checks cause he can’t work. His wife draws a check to “take” care of her husband. The get $75,000.00  are year from you and me. File taxes and get more money back … And to top of this Happy Sundae son of bitch, he mows yards for cash and does other odd jobs for more cash. Where’s his disability? Apparently it’s in being “honest” like so many other people …

Here’s the complete story we ran a few month’s ago from Snake Eyed Sam who knows this FREELOADER … People like this example should be kicked off immediately and forced to pay it all back. Like I said earlier, these type of people live in every town, city and state in America … And don’t even get me started about the Government giving illegal immigrants assistance too … That’s a whole ‘nother story I could rant about…

http://www.kickacts.com/2009/02/06/this-is-really-pissin-me-off/

So in closing, let’s recap because ultimately someone will misread this and send me hate mail …

1. If you need assistance, the word “need” here is important. Please accept it. I did, I needed it and when I no longer did, I got off of it. You should too and don’t wait until you win the lottery. Take a leap of faith, you might just surprise yourself. We did and haven’t looked back.

2. If you are free loading the system, shame on you and the countless others that do it too and you should get off of it or be kicked off it and made to pay the system back. You take from everyone else that is trying. Don’t blame the economy for your woes either. Pull yourself up, work two jobs if you got to. I have and will again if I need too.

3. Illegal immigrants are illegal from the word “go”. The only assistance they should get is assistance getting back over the Rio Grande or were ever the hell they came from. Want to come to America, do it the right way. Stand in line and do it the legal way and I’ll be glad to shake your hand and welcome you to America … otherwise … stay the hell out.

rant over for now …

chuck gee

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Posted by Chuck Gee - May 3, 2009 at 7:24 AM

Categories: Chuck's Corner   Tags:

May Movie Contest

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1. Jam. Hey what’s up mom? I’m gonna ask you this nicely first. Can I have my drumsticks back?
Mrs. Bruce: Your drumsticks are the least of your worries young man. You ran out on God! My son just ran out on God! You are in a world of…
Jam: TROUBLE! I’ve been in trouble for the past 12 hours! HELLO? You know I’m going to be in St. Bernards Boarding School for the next 2 years. I’m gonna be out of your hair until I’m a legal adult! And then all YOU have to do is go to church, light a candle, and pray to some stupid little statue for me and all is forgiven and forgotten, right mom? Then you can spend your days in a guilt free pursuit of more constructive activities like telling everyone else how screwed up their lives are. And then you no longer need the patience and understanding required to talk to your own son on some normal plain. And then that way you don’t have to think about how tough it was for you when you were growing up and its probably a good thing too cause if you did, you’d realize what a lousy, goddam shitty-ass parent you are.
Mrs. Bruce: Jeremiah what has gotten into you?
Jam: I JUST LOST MY VIRGINITY IN A CONFESSIONAL BOOTH! LORD HAVE MERCY! Now, for the last time, Mom, give me back my fucking drumsticks… please.

a. Young Blood
b. Rock and Roll High School
c. Detroit Rock City

2. I like this movie so much I am going to give you two quotes. If you miss this one you need serious help and obviously didn’t watch any movies in the 80’s cause this one is required watching in order to be “cool”…
Quote #1. I shall serve no fries before their time.
Quote # 2. First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. “Oh, Debbie. Hi.” Two, you always call the shots. “Kiss me. You won’t regret it.” Now three, act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be. “Isn’t this great?” Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It’s a classy move. “Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.” And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

a. “American Graffiti”
b. “Teenage Graffiti”
c. “Fast Times at Ridgemount High”

3.[shouting] We don’t got no Goddamn band! We don’t need to fucking practice, Randy! We don’t no shit-ass manager neither! You motherfuckers! You all are a bunch of losers! I’m the only sane son-of-a-bitch here! So get the *fuck* out of my house now!

a. “That thing you do!”
b. “Sling Blade”
c. “Spinal Tap”

4. Lemme tell you buttholes somethin’! This shit’s wwaaayyyyy outta line! And you squirrels better have some nuts in your mouth… or you’re goin’ downtown!

a. “The HollyWood Knights”
b. “Porkies”
c. “Sixteen candles”

5.Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain… And an athlete . . .And a basket case . . .A princess . . .And a criminal…Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, ………

a. “Pretty in Pink”
b. “The Breakfast Club”
c. Sixteen Candles”

Send your answers to chuck@kickacts.com.

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Posted by Chuck Gee - May 1, 2009 at 8:55 AM

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BLAIRING ON THE RADIO with Joe Blair

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Joe Blair is the weekday morning DJ on Super Hits 105.3. He was voted the best radio personality in the Courier Press Readers’ Choice Awards.

Joe Blair in the mornings on Super Hits 105.31) You’ve been on Evansville radio for as long as I can remember and you’re a “staple” around here. How did you get your start?

My best friend in high school dared me to try out for the school radio station at Jay County High School in Portland, IN.  I tried out and made the staff.  The first week of school in 1978 the owner of the local commercial radio station WPGW heard me doing my show and hired me to do the late afternoons in Portland.  I’ve been on the air ever since.

2) Who do you look up to in radio?

When I first started in radio my hero was a guy named Larry Lujack in Chicago at WLS.  I have learned the most though from guys I’ve worked with and around through the years.  In Chattanooga I worked with a guy called Big Jon Anthony.  I learned a lot about what to do and what not to do from him.  He passed away in 1992.  I also did a morning show in Philadelphia with a guy named Larry Coats.  What a guy he was.  He inherited the Huntsville Alabama Municipal Airport from his mom when she died.  He quit radio to run it and a little place called NASA bought it from him for a Bizillion dollars.  The experiences with guys like that are unforgettable.

3) In your time in the industry, you’ve seen lots of changes. can you tell us about some of the good changes?

Most of the good changes are technological.  When I started in 1978 we played records on turntables and reel to reel tape etc.  Now everything is on computer.  I didn’t like that at first because I thought it took some personality out of it.  Years and introspection though has shown me it is very nice to have the extra time that the computers save you to prep for what you want to do and say on the air.

4) On the same line, what about the bad changes such as automated radio stations, etc.?

Really…don’t get me started.  I think the worst thing for radio in general has been deregulation by the FCC.  This allowed one owner to have multiple stations in one radio market and an unlimited number around the country.  This is no slight against any company I’ve worked for because any company would use the changes to its advantage.   What happened with this deregulation is radio owners became radio group owners.  What they did makes perfect business sense, that is why I don’t blame them.  They took all the stations that they purchased in a market and stuck them in the same building.  It is much cheaper to have one facility than seven or eight.  Then they took a group of sales people and designated one group of eight or so to four stations and another group of eight or so for the other four stations.  The general managers are over all eight stations etc.  What this has done is take the pride and “team” out of radio.  They try like heck for this not to happen but it just does naturally.  The top station in the group is the one sales people prefer to sell and back.  The general manager gives his attention to the top stations too and the budget money.  He or she is also too dang busy to be accessible and approachable for communication etc.  They have become less communicative with us.  This hurts individual station growth.  The managers simply have bigger fish to fry.  The other bottom four or five radio stations get the scraps when before deregulation they had their own sales team, their own prideful staff and made more revenue.  The disc jockeys in the trenches have come to call the bottom feeder radio stations in the group “step children.”  It really is a good analogy I think.

5) What do you think about radio stations having syndicated celebrity DJ’s like Alice Cooper, Rick Dees or Dee Snider instead of hiring local overnight DJ’s? Do you think it hurts new DJ’s that need the experience?

These show, while some are really good, take the local nature right out of radio.  It is again another way for radio owners to save money.  They don’t have to pay social security tax or insurance payments for the talent etc.  Again I can understand why it is done, but it has really limited the jobs in radio for local people wanting to get into the business.  If you study the top radio stations in markets the size of Evansville you will find to top rated stations are still the stations that have local morning shows and follow up personalities.  Many of the step children get the national shows.  Those stations get enough ratings to garner national agency revenue and a little local money so they are profitable.  The old saying is “a dollar saved is a full dollar in revenue,”  which means there are no taxes on that dollar and no maintenance.  The old days of radio stations staffed with all local personalities is long gone for sure.  That is a long way of answering the question about hurting new DJs.  Yes it does, if they can become radio people at all.  I was very lucky to have started when I did to get established as a viable personality.

6) Besides being a radio personality, you also do television voice over work. Do people recognize your voice in public?

They do.  I have been in Evansville now for 20-years and have done on camera stuff too so they recognize me or my voice.  I love the people of this community.  Evansville is one of the last great cities left in our nation I think.  Much of that has to do with where we are.  You have to go to Terre Haute and turn left or right to get here from anywhere.  We are still a very local place.  Brain sandwiches, local festivals, close nit neighborhoods and sections…west side, east side, north side, Newburgh.  It really is wonderful and great for our children to have this big, small town thing going on.

7) Can you tell the readers some good and bad things about being in radio?

The good and bad varies from person to person.  It depends on when you are on and what you are doing.  I’ve done a morning show for 28 years now.  That means I have to wake up really early.  I wake up earlier than most because of my farmer work ethic.  I get up at about 2:20am and am at the radio station between 3 and 3:30.  I just want to make sure I’m really ready when I hit the air.  I have worked with guys though who get to work 5 minutes before they go on or maybe 5 minutes late.  Radio is also a job where you have lots to do on the weekend too.  Remote broadcasts and promotions tie you up on Saturdays especially many weekends.  It is tough to leave town with your family in the spring and summer months.

All in all though radio is fun.  You aren’t crunching numbers at a desk usually.  You get to create, do commercials, and be with the public.  You get to meet a lot of people and have experiences with people you wouldn’t normally have.  Those times have been a blessing.

8) Doing remote broadcasts comes with the territory. Do you have any stories about some really good remotes? How about bad ones? We know that they all aren’t a walk on the beach.

I have literally done thousands of remote broadcasts in my career.  Combined I did over 500 Breakfast with Blair broadcasts alone.  I have had remotes where tons of people come and some where all you hear are crickets.  Once I did a remote from a vacant lot.  A realty company wanted to sell vacant lots for people to build homes on.  That is a narrow target.  I think one person came.  When you are new in the business and  that happens you think it is a reflection on you.  “No body came to see me!”  Through the years I have a real empathy for the sponsors who are buying the shows.  It has given me an entrepreneur’s heart.  I focus on the message I am sending out for the business owner.  They are spending their hard earned money in hopes of increasing their business.  I therefore have adopted the attitude that it doesn’t matter if people come to see me, I just want to help that business succeed and sell.  This is something that just came naturally with the territory for me.  The one success story that I always remember is a show I did in the early 90s for the Carpet Shop in Boonville.  Bob Phillips was the owner and he bought a Breakfast with Blair show.  At that time all we had for breakfast was donuts and coffee.  Only two people came to the breakfast, but I focused all the breaks on how great the store was and the service they provided.  They really did.  Bob was great and you could just tell he was genuine.  I felt bad that only two people came for breakfast because I thought they had a great store with super service.  Two weeks later I received a call from Bob.  He was tickled.  The Carpet Shop had sold wall to wall carpeting to two separate people who were building new homes.  Each of the homes had carpeting in every room.  They were big homes too.  Both of the customers had heard about his business on my show that morning.  They didn’t even know about the Carpet Shop before that.  I consider that breakfast show to be one of my most successful.

9) Tell us about some of the celebrity encounters you’ve had. We know it’s one of the perks of the job but not all celebrities are perky.

I was in Country music in Philadelphia and Chattanooga.  I met lots of country stars during those years.  One of the most memorable encounters though was one with Johnny Cash.  I have always done character voices.  That was one of the reasons my best friend in high school wanted me to try out for radio.  Johnny Cash is one of my best impersonations.  My mom was at the show with me that night in 1987.  We were backstage before  the concert and  had just eaten chicken with Johnny, June and  his band.  I got an idea and asked mom for a dollar bill.  I took the dollar bill and walked up to Johnny and  said (in his voice)…”Johnny, would you sign my momma’s cash?”  He smiled, looked at me with a funny look and said.” Believe it or not I’ve never heard that one before!”  He then said “Imitation is the best form of flattery, thank you.”  Then he asked me if I wanted June to sign it.  I said…sure.  June did and it is at home today with me in Evansville along with a picture of Johnny, me and mom backstage.  It is on our fridge.  My wife Laurie is a Johnny Cash nut.

I also interviewed Tommy Chong once.  My boss told me not to mention drugs at all.  I opened the interview with…How are you Tommy?  He said…” I’m high as hell man…how  are you?” My boss was pretty mad, but what is a Hoosier to do?  Ha!

10) For our last question, we let you talk about whatever suits your fancy. Go ahead Joe, LET IT BLAIR!

My passion is music for sure.  I love playing the guitar.  I got really serious about it a dozen or so years ago and took 12-years of lessons from Ron Pritchett in Evansville.  He is the best.  Those were 12-years well spent.  I’m starting to be able to play a little bit now.  I’ve also taken up golf.  What a hoot.  I’ve played a little through the years, but now have been bitten by the bug.  I joined Oak Meadow and play when I can.  It is kind of like guitar, an individual challenge that you can improve on with lots of practice.  Both of these things are quite a lot like growing in radio.  You can’t do it all at once.  You have to take your time and work on it.  I have a great family too.  My wife Laurie is wonderful and I have three daughters, Mayme, Malia and Zoe.  Mayme has given me a great grandson too, Ramsey Joe who is 2 and a half years old.   The main thing I want to say in closing is I believe God is real and what the bible says is the truth.  I really hope that everyone reads the Gospel and trusts what it tells you to do for eternal life.  Johnny Cash would tell you the same thing.  God bless you all.    Joe

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - May 1, 2009 at 12:01 AM

Categories: At The Mic   Tags:

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