Archive for January 5th, 2010

Funny Stories

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Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she said, ”Mabel, do you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?’ Mabel answered, ‘I have a suppository in my ear?’ She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, ‘Ethel, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid..’

Next one lol

When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, ‘You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.’ Replied the widow, ‘I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.’

Next one lol

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn’t find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: ‘Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise.’ The old man faxed back: ‘Send me the pearl and re-bait  the trap.’

Next one lol

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, ‘Watch that wall!’

Next one lol

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, ‘I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.’
I said, ‘Well, then why are you crying?’ She said, ‘He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the
afternoon.

I said, ‘Well, why are you crying?’ She said, ‘For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.’ I said, ‘Well, why in the world would you be crying?’ She said, ‘I can’t remember where I live!’

Next one lol

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, ‘Now don’t get mad at me….I know we’ve been friends for a long time…..but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.’ Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, ‘How soon do you need to know?’

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Posted by Chuck Gee - January 5, 2010 at 1:54 PM

Categories: Humor   Tags:

10 Things Not to Buy in 2010 from Yahoo

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I agree on this list and I can add a few more…What about fax machines? Or anything Al Gore puts out? What about Oprah’s book of the month club? That can go in the trash too. Dot com businesses. Encyclopedias. How bout not buying drugs if you don’t need them? Now there’s a hot topic…How about new homes or cars? Save some money people, take a trip, kick a pyramid. As in the list below, DVD’s, no need to buy them from Blockbuster or anyone else when you can download them for free…like me 😛

chuck

Here’s yahoo’s list..

and the link for the whole article…

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/108504/10-things-not-to-buy-in-2010

10 Things Not to Buy in 2010

by AnnaMaria Andriotis
Friday, January 1, 2010
provided bySmartMoney.com

Ten years ago, most homes relied on dial-up connections to access the Internet and iPods, flat-screen TVs and the Nintendo Wii didn’t exist.

In 2010, consumer should expect to see more revolutionary products supplanting old mainstays. In media, DVDs, books, newspapers and magazines will continue to lose ground to services like in-home movie rentals and gadgets like the Amazon (AMZN) Kindle. In big-ticket items, the push for energy efficiency will continue to influence consumer decisions on cars and home upgrades.

As a result, some consumer products appear poised for a dip in sales, which could be a prelude to obsolescence. Here are 10 items not to buy in 2010.

DVDs

The days of going to a video shop to rent a movie are at an end. In September, Blockbuster (BBI) said it plans to close roughly 22% of its stores by the end of 2010; meanwhile, third-quarter revenue was down 21% from the year-ago period. (The company didn’t return calls for comment.)

More from Yahoo! Finance:What the Car You Drive Reveals About You

Cut Your Tech Bill Without Trimming Services

Save Up to $1,500 per Year on Your Energy Bill


Visit the Family & Home Center

 

Looking ahead, DVD purchases could turn cold, as well. On average, DVDs sell for at least $20 each. That’s pricier than signing up for Netflix (NFLX) or renting movies from cable providers’ on-demand channels. Netflix charges as little as $8.99 a month to rent one DVD at a time (with no limit to the number of monthly rentals).

Time Warner Cable offers thousands of movies on demand for around $4.99 each. Verizon Fios cable service charges $5.99 a month to download unlimited movies.

Home telephone service

It will probably take a while, but home landlines could become as archaic as the rotary phone.

According to a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study, more than one in five U.S. homes (22.7%) had cellphones — and no landlines — during the first half of 2009, up from 10.5% during the same period in 2006.

Ditching your home phone is easier now than it has been in the past, as cell phone companies compete for greater market share and alternatives to the home landline continue growing. For example, magicJack provides phone service when it’s plugged into a computer’s USB port and a home phone. It costs $39.95 and includes a one-year license for calls in the U.S. and Canada; after that, service costs $19.95 per year. (By contrast, Time Warner Cable’s digital home phone service costs $39.95 per month.)

And, consider Skype, which is free when you communicate with other Skype users; this software application uses the Internet as a platform to make calls, hold video conferences and send instant messages.

External hard drives

Consumers who keep their computers for years and upload thousands of songs, videos, movies and photos will need to get more space at some point.

External hard drives are one option, but an up-and-coming alternative might be simpler and save you another transition down the road. Online backup services, like Carbonite.com or Mozy.com, allow users to back up data over the Internet.

These services are more expensive than purchasing an external hard drive, which typically starts at around $70. At Carbonite.com, a one-year subscription starts at $54.95, and at Mozy.com monthly subscription costs total $54.45 for a year.

Smartphone also-rans

In the past few years, several smartphones hit the market with similar features to the iPhone and BlackBerry, but they haven’t generated the same buzz. As a result, fewer developers are likely to create applications and other products that cater to those phones.

Today, the BlackBerry dominates the smartphone market with 40% market share, followed by the iPhone with 25%, according to data released by ComScore in December. In the near term, both are expected to stay at the top. ComScore found that most consumers who’ll be shopping for smartphones in the next three months plan to purchase a Blackberry (51%) or an iPhone (20%).

By contrast, only 5% of respondents said they planned to purchase T-Mobile’s MyTouch. The Palm Pre and Palm Centro received 2% and 1% of the vote, respectively.

A possible upcoming competitor that could shake up the space is Google’s (GOOG) Android. According to ComScore, as of October, the Android’s market share had doubled to 3.5% in the past year.

Compact digital cameras

For nearly a decade, digital compact cameras were must-haves for most consumers.

But during the past several years, another type of digital camera has been slowly rising in popularity: the single-lens reflex (SLR) camera, from manufacturers including Nikon, Canon (CAJ), Sony (SNE) and Olympus. Although bulkier, these cameras produce pictures that more accurately represent what’s in their viewfinders than those that use older technology.

They’re also pricier. For example, Canon’s digital compact cameras start at $110, while the SLRs start at $570.

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Posted by Chuck Gee - January 5, 2010 at 1:23 PM

Categories: General   Tags:

Song for today….

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anyone agree?

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Posted by Chuck Gee - January 5, 2010 at 12:47 PM

Categories: Chuck's Corner   Tags:

2009 Darwin Awards

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Personally, I think some of this stuff is made up but I always find it funny. Here are a couple samples.

#1 — For the first time ever, a woman–yes, a member of the safer sex–made it into the year’s Top Darwin Awards Contenders! 2009 Antepenultimate Winner is the North Carolina woman who jumped into a swollen creek to rescue her drowning…moped.

#2 — And the winner is… deceased! The city of Dinant, Belgium is the backdrop for this rare Double Darwin Award involving two bankrobbers attempting to make a sizeable withdrawal from an ATM. In hindsight, a debit card would have been safer.

Find more here: http://www.darwinawards.com/

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - January 5, 2010 at 12:00 PM

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Lynda Carter Musical Number

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From a show in 1980, here’s a medley of Lynda performing Rock & Roll Fantasy (Bad Company), Proud Mary (Tina Turner), I Was Made For Loving You (KISS), & Friends (Bette Midler). I have not comment on this other than that it made me chuckle. Enjoy.

[youtube]hZ6pCigqgXs[/youtube]

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - January 5, 2010 at 9:09 AM

Categories: Al's News & Reviews   Tags:

RUSH is ok, good for him but can we take this annoying …

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bastard off the air? Please..someone??? The arraogant fat bastard has a press conference to say he is ok…Who cares… I bet there is an oxycontin bottle calling his name somewhere…

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Posted by Chuck Gee - January 5, 2010 at 8:00 AM

Categories: Chuck's Corner   Tags:

Pearly Gates

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A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. ‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool. ‘Wow, thank you’, said the taxi driver. Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set. ‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up’, said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’ Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’

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Posted by Chuck Gee - January 5, 2010 at 12:01 AM

Categories: General   Tags: