Dear Big Brother Beer,

I’ve got a problem that I don’t feel comfortable talking about with anyone close to me. Maybe you can help.

Recently, my best friend and I both applied for the same job. She had been talking about trying to get a job with this company for ages, but never actually got around to picking up an application. Last week, I offered to pick her up and drive her there. I insisted that she fill out the application while we were there, because I knew she would never get around to returning it if I let her take it home.  Just to kill time, I filled one out too. Neither one of has much job experience, so I figured given the current economic state, neither one of us had much of a chance of actually getting hired.

The next day, they called me to come in for an interview. They offered me the job that same day, and I started working there this week. As soon as my friend found out, she completely freaked. She has stopped speaking to me, and is telling everyone we know that I “stole her job”. It’s just a minimum wage retail position, but I need the money and don’t feel as if I’ve done anything wrong. The part that really bothers me is that we have been friends since preschool, and this is the longest we’ve ever gone without speaking to one another. I hate that this has happened, but I don’t think me quitting is fair, or will do anything to repair our friendship.

Is there anything I can do to fix this?

Signed,
Employed But Lonely

Dear Employed But Lonely,

Unfortunately, no. You can’t fix this, EBL, because you didn’t do anything wrong.

I’m assuming from some of the details in your letter that you and your BF are both fairly young. You’ve just learned one of the big lessons of life, my dear: No good deed goes unpunished. You were trying to do something nice for a friend, and now that “friend” hates you for it. That’s her problem, not yours. She owes YOU an apology, not the other way around. Her lazy ass wouldn’t even have applied for that job if it wasn’t for you.

Now, here’s the next big life lesson you need to wrap your mind around: Just because you’ve known someone a long time doesn’t mean they’re your friend. A friend would have been happy for you, albeit somewhat disappointed for themselves. A friend sure as shit wouldn’t be spreading lies about you behind your back, no matter how bummed they were about the way things turned out. It may be time to consider the possibility that this person wasn’t that much of a friend to begin with, and move on.

I know that may sound harsh, EBL, but you’ll find that this kind of thing happens quite frequently through the course of one’s life. This is probably the first time it’s happened to you, which makes it a lot harder to deal with.

Then again, after some time, your “friend” may calm down and realize what a bitch she’s been. If she offers you a heartfelt apology, accept it. But remember: “Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me”. In other words, If she treats you like shit once, it’s likely she’ll do it again. So proceed with caution, EBL. And don’t sit around waiting for an apology that may never come. You’ve just started a new job (don’t you dare quit because of this), so you’ve got a great opportunity to meet some new people and maybe make some new friends. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll meet some people who actually know the meaning of the word.

—Your Big Brother Beer

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 21st, 2010 at 7:44 AM and is filed under Tell It All...To Big Brother Beer!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.