Hey Big Brother Beer!
A couple of weeks ago, I had a cookout at my house. My sister, who has a habit of showing up late to every function she attends, was one of the people invited. To make sure she was on time, I told her the cookout would start two hours earlier than it actually did. It worked like a charm, until she found that she’d been duped.
She arrived about half an hour before the official start time, which was an hour and a half after I had asked her to be there. When I jokingly congratulated her on being early for once, she gathered her kids up and left, without a word. She hasn’t spoken to me since. Did I really mess up that bad? Or is she being somewhat childish? Our friends and family are pretty evenly split on this one.
Your thoughts?
Signed,
Didn’t Mean To Start Any Shit
I gotta say, DMTSAS, I’m pretty evenly split too. Normally when I answer a letter for this column, I’ve pretty much decided what my response will be after the first read. This one, however, has had me going back and forth for a couple of days now.
I understand that someone showing up late for a meal can mean that everyone else is waiting while the food gets cold. But this was a cookout, for Christ’s sake, not a formal dinner. I just can’t see anyone being such a promptness nazi that they expect everyone to show up at the stroke of whenever-the-hell-I-said-so. At least not for burgers and hot dogs and potato salad warming in the sun.
Having said that, DMTSAS, this pattern of tardiness has obviously caused some problems in the past, perhaps in a situation where your sister’s lack of consideration for your other guests has thrown a major monkey wrench in the gears of the party machine. A child’s birthday, for example. Someone strolling in an hour or two after the candles were supposed to be lit would be pretty frustrating.
Ultimately, I think you need to worry less about who’s right or wrong, and worry more about repairing this rift between you and your sister. Call her and apologize, even if you still feel that your actions were justified. Maybe she is just self absorbed and inconsiderate. Maybe you are too anal and controlling in matters of timely arrival. Maybe a little of both. But this doesn’t seem like something that’s so important that it should drive a wedge between two sisters permanently. Work it out.
Your Big Brother Beer
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