I’ve been asked if the letters I receive are real.

Never mind by who. They asked, dammit!

Not only are the letters real, but here’s a couple of my favorites that never made the column, for some reason:

Hey, Big Brother Beer!

I’ve got a problem. I hope you can help. My girlfriend won’t fuck me. What should I do?

Wanna Get Laid

Thanks for writing, WGL. Now all my readers know what kind of letter not to write. Anyway, Moving on…

Hey, Big Brother Beer!

I’ve been separated from my husband for almost three months now. He used to hit me, and that’s why I left. Not so much because he hit me, but just because he hit me when I didn’t want to be hit. I’ve discovered, somewhat late in life, that I’m a classic bottom. I like to be hit, smacked around, spanked, etc. I think the reason that I stayed with my ex so long was that I didn’t know how to deal with being a bottom. I didn’t know that this was nothing to be ashamed of. What do you think? Am I right?

Not Ashamed At All

Mom, I told you to quit reading this column. Go back upstairs. GOD!

Hey, Big Brother Beer!

I stole some shit from the place I work, now I feel guilty. Should I return the shit I stole?

Unsigned

Yes.

The point is, dear readers, that I can hear the bullshit in these letters like a dog hears one of them weird little whistles. Do not waste your time. Or mine. If you have a serious question, it is recommended that you click this link: bigbrotherbeer@gmail.com

This entry was posted on Monday, June 7th, 2010 at 2:50 PM and is filed under Tell It All...To Big Brother Beer!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.