Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path
of unemployment for his party’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog …
And Obama was a tree.

A son asked his mother the following question: ‘Mom, why are wedding dresses white?’ The mother looks at her son and replies: ‘Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.’ The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. ‘Dad why are wedding dresses white?’ The father looks at his son in surprise and says: ‘Son, all household appliances come in white.’

(They are still looking for dad !!)