When I was first told about Bavaria I thought my friend was talking about a region, but then he quickly informed me he was talking about a brand of beer. I’m always excited about trying a new beer so I figured “what the hell”. I was told this is the type of beer that isn’t usually found at bars, so we went to a beer and wine store little ways from my house. We bought a 12-pack (which surprisingly wasn’t that expensive, or maybe even cheaper than what you would pay on most 12-packs), packed in the car and drove home. My friend urged me to try this beer for the first time in a pilsner glass to give me the experience of drinking a fine beer. I poured, waited for the foam to go down, and took two very nice, and very large gulps. It was amazing. I could definitely taste the hops. It wasn’t overpowering, but it sure made itself known. The malt was at a nice level, and it had a Grolsch taste but it was much cleaner. This lager is a must try must buy in my book. That’s why it made the choice of the week.

This old Jewish couple go to Jerusalem to visit thier ancestor’s home and to see the Jewish homeland. While they were their the wife passes away. The old man goes to a funeral parlor and the funeral director says “Sir I can either have your wife shipped home for $5,000 dollars or have her buried here for $500.” After a long thought the man says “I’d like her shipped home please”. Astonished the funeral director asks “Why spend more when you can have her buried in the motherland?” The old man responded “I heard a few thousand years ago this man was buried here, and 3 days later he came back to life….I just can’t take that risk.”

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A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long – but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.” The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.”

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A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says “Hold on a second here – you can’t bring that animal in here, they aren’t allowed!” So the man says, “But my gator here does a really cool trick…”

The bartender says “Well then, lets see!” So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.

He looks around at the crowd and says, “Does anyone else want to try?” An old lady raises her hand and says…”Sure, but don’t hit me with that stick.”

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There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said ” I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!” The second man says “Ok, sure.” and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: ” I’ll bet you another $100 you can’t do it again.” So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says “Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in.” The first man says” Ok, sure.” The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man ” Gee, you can be a bastard when you’re pissed, Superman.”

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A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice “JESUS is watching you”. He looks around with his flashlight wandering “What The HELL Was That?”. He spots some $ on a table and takes it……Once again he hears a voice ” JESUS is watching you”. He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks ” Was that your voice?”. It said “YES”. He then says “What’s your name?”. It says “MOSES”. The burglar says ” What kind of person names his bird moses??” The parrot replys “THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTWEILER “JESUS”.