Monday, July 27th, 2009
First and foremost, I want to thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers and support over the past two and a half years. Your faith in God and your love for us has helped to sustain my family and renew our hope and faith time and time again and for that we are eternally grateful!
I want to share a little piece of my heart and try to explain where I’ve been, where I’m at now and where I’m going by the grace of God. Kyle and I never stopped believing that God could heal her cancer yet there were times when we cried out to God “Why?”.
It was difficult to understand how this could be a part of His plan. She devoted her life to making everyone else happy. Without regrets and with no complaints, she sacrificed her own goals and dreams to raise and educate Mikey and Ellena, and to love and care for her family. This is who she was and who she is. This is also the very reason why so many people love, adore and respect Kyle. She was one of a kind and irreplaceable. When Kyle left us on March 5th, something amazing happened in my heart. After two years of feeling like there was no oxygen to breath, and feeling as if my spirit had left my body, I realized when Kyle passed and entered into the Kingdom of Heaven that she was instantly without pain and suffering and in the presence of The Lord – glorified, restored, renewed and no longer fighting this horrible disease. I know that she is where we all long to be. Reminding myself of this daily helps me to find peace and the strength to be able to move forward. If I could have taken her place I would have in an instant. I said this time and time again to Kyle. I feel as though she had more to offer this world than I certainly do and this was the very reason why I questioned God for the past few years. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the reality of Kyle leaving this earth. Miraculously, I’ve come to a better understanding as to why God chooses to take someone who means so much to the world. Many times it’s to teach those left behind how to be better, stronger people and how to love in ways that may have remained hidden for a lifetime. Losing Kyle has taught me more about love. My hearts desire is to love my children, my family and my friends in ways that I’ve never shown. This is what led to the tour. I want to see true healing among all of us and I want the world to see that we are willing to live what we speak, to do what we say and to practice what we preach. I’ve certainly learned the importance of how precious time is and how quickly it passes. Each moment should be lived with joy and happiness and looked at as a gift from God above. I want to at least try to live my remaining years with this in mind.
I know that I don’t owe anyone anything, but I’ve always been one to share my life, my heart, and my mind. It’s just who I am and who I will always be. That being said, I want to share with you the gift that I’ve been given and what I refer to as “a new chapter in my life”. Kyle and I shared a special kind of love that no matter what was thrown at us, we always rose above and came out stronger for it, and with a better understanding of what true love should be. I learned so much from the 22+ years of marriage to Kyle and she taught me how to be a better man.
It’s been almost 5 months since Kyle passed and I’ve met someone who is unquestionably a Godsend, a gift and a blessing to my life. I know that Kyle would want me to be happy just as I would want her to be happy too. Her name is Lisa and she has changed my life. She has put a smile on my face and brought joy to my heart. Lisa is someone who shares my faith, my desires, my dreams, my humor, and effortlessly makes me feel completely comfortable opening up my heart to her and her alone. Although I’ve been heartbroken for some time now, Lisa has been instrumental in my healing process and she has been as understanding as anyone can be. The love that we share is unconditional and I count it a true gift and an absolute blessing. In the end when Kyle was sick I didn’t see a future, it was impossible to see one, but having met Lisa now at this point in my life I can see a future again and I know that God has so much planned for my life and hers, together. I’ve shared this news with my closest friends and family, and as unexpected as it may be, the support has been overwhelming in the best of ways. I loved Kyle with all my heart for almost 23 years and I devoted my life to loving her and I would never disrespect her or her legacy. I believe, without doubt, that God’s hand is upon this relationship and my desire and Lisa’s desire is to honor Him in all that we do. I felt the need to openly share this moment in my life with the hope that you will continue to pray for me and my family, for Lisa and I and our new life together, and for God’s will to unfold within and upon our lives collectively as we try to move forward and follow God’s lead. I covet your prayers, your support and your understanding and I appreciate your grace during this sensitive time.
Always, In Him and with abundant love,