A few good “Jokes of the day” :)

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Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. “This is my oldest son Mohammed. He’s 24 years old now.” “Yes, I remember him as a baby,” says the other mother cheerfully. “He’s a martyr now though,” mum confides. “Oh, so sad dear,” says the other. “And this is my second son, Kalid. He’s 21.” “Oh, I remember him,” says the other happily, “he had such curly hair when he was born.” “He’s a martyr too,” says mum quietly. “Oh gracious me ….” says the other. “And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He’s 18,” she whispers. “Yes,” says the friend enthusiastically, “I remember when he first started school.” “He’s a martyr also,” says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says… “They blow up so fast, don’t they? πŸ˜‰

A barman was locking up the pub for the night when a tramp knocked at the door. When the barman opened the door the tramp asked for a tooth pick. The barman was confused but gave him one and carried on locking up. A short while later another tramp knocked on the door and also asked for a tooth pick, and the barman gave him one. As the barman was just about to leave, up came another tramp but his time he asked for a straw. By this time the barman thought he had to ask why.
He said to the tramp “How come the other two tramps asked for a tooth pick and you asked for a straw?”
The tramp replied “Someone’s been sick outside but all the good stuff is gone!”

It was entertainment night at the senior
center, and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill.
People came from miles around to see the famed
hypnotist do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting
room, he announced, “Unlike most hypnotists who invite
two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I
intend to hypnotize each and every member of the
The excitement was almost electric as Claude
withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his
coat. “I want each one of you to keep your eye on this
antique watch.
“It’s a very special watch. It’s been in my
family for six generations.”
He began to swing the watch gently back and
forth while quietly chanting, “Watch the watch, watch
the watch, watch the watch…”
The crowd was mesmerized as the watch swayed
back and forth, light gleaming off its polished
surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the
swaying watch until suddenly, it slipped from the
hypnotist’s fingers and fell to the floor, breaking
into a hundred pieces……………………..

“SHIT!” said the hypnotist…

It took three days to clean up the senior