Dedicated to my children, my family, and to Rob, R.I.P. my friend.
It Begins and ends the same. A pressurized struggle surrounding a choice. The choice has two paths. One leads us to familiar places with a familiar end. The other, if chosen, would take us to places unknown & unpredictable with no signs or footprints to follow.
The choice seems simple, easy to choose. It’s like driving to work everyday. You take the same roads, the familiar starts, stops, street lights and houses.
It’s not that simple in the lives of addicts.
Try this. When you leave for work take a different road. If you are going North, drive South. Do this for a week. Take a different road each day. Turn on streets and into neighborhoods you are not familiar with and soon, when the one-ways, do not enters, unpredictable traffic and dead ends have frustrated you, you will return to your familiar predictable path.
This is a simplified comparison to our lives, and our struggle. Our dead ends are doors that will not open and are shut in our faces, and we fall. We know you know what we are. We know you wait and watch for us to fail too. It adds to the struggle to walk upright.
So when you’re driving home or leaving for work on your normal route, remember the frustration and unpredictability of the unfamiliar route that influenced your choice.
Falling for someone, only to fall short, doing your best, to learn it’s not good enough and realizing you’re being kept on the lowest rung of the ladder so you don’t have far to fall, I continue on.