Worthless sh*t by Chuck gee
Worthless sh*t
I once almost got to represent my grade school (Central elementary) in a spelling bee. Do they even still have those? If so, do they take into consideration the entire texting lingo we have these days? What if the phrase was “laughing out loud”? Does it count if the kid walks up to the microphone and repeats the phrase “Laughing out loud” and asked the judge to use it in a sentence and then steps back to listen. So the judge may say something like this. “The conversation was so funny I was laughing out loud.” The little kid walks slowly back up to the microphone, nervously straightens his clothes out and right in front of a large audience says “laughing out loud” and calls out the following letters “L.O.L.” for the win?
But back to my story. My personal fail in my big spelling bee contest break was not asking for a sentence using the word given to me to spell. Just for the record, a sentence is the deal breaker. I had made it past the homeroom spelling bee contest and beat everyone in my class so I advanced to the next level. I couldn’t have been any more than in the fourth grade because in the fifth grade we moved to the brand new Central Elementary school building. But more on that later? So here I was. After school. Competing with other kids to represent Central School. I watched as one by one they were eliminated until it was down to just four of us. I knew I had a chance. I had came this far. It wasn’t in the bag but I was a good speller and kept my fingers crossed just in case. My mom (Gm) was going to be so proud of me a spelling bee champion! I patiently wanted for my turn. I remember this like it was yesterday. Then it was my turn. My word was “know”. I knew that word. It was mine to take. I was so close to representing my school I could feel it. I spelled my word proudly just knowing I was making it to the next round. I opened up my mouth and out came my word with the letters “N and O”. Then I heard next those horrible words no child in an intense spelling bee contest wants to hear. “I am sorry, it was “K.N.O.W”. You should have asked for it in a sentence. And with that. I was dismissed. I hung my head down low as I excited the school and walked down the asphalt playground and headed home with tears in my eyes. Looking back, failing at that didn’t hurt me. Moments like that build character.
Rattling and moving on…
Next topic please.