Incredible artist by night. Locked away lonely butcher by day. He sees life from the other side of the glass. His “Tales from the Chop” are real. His outlook is slightly twisted. A part time Bouncer amongst the rows of dry goods when he is not cutting up the day’s morsels. His humor moves at the brush stroke of madness..He is for all practical purposes, a poetic Sweeney John. Hack on!
Okay…So, today at work this Swamp Ape (A southern term for Bigfoot) came lumbering through, complete with offspring.
The piece of trash, sporting long blonde hair that looked as if it were washed in mayonnaise, was busy on her phone and was not paying attention to Chaka.
The kid started puncturing a package of ground beef with his fingers and licking them.
This happens more often than you might think….
Neglectful, trashy inbreds letting their kids tear up everything in sight and act completely oblivious to the situation.
Well…Not on my watch.
First, I stepped in and told the kid to stop, picked up the damaged package and presented to Mrs. Yeti and explained what had happened.
She looked at me and said, “Well, I didn’t see him do it and I ain’t payin’ for it.”
I returned fire by saying, “No worries. It’s not as if we would make any money off of your welfare card, anyway.”
We continued to exchange barbs and realizing she was dealing with a higher primate went off in a huff, child following behind, mumbling some crazy moon language that I couldn’t understand.
Before making a complete exit, I was able to take a few fingers of ground beef from the damaged package and drop it inside the hood of her coat.
I was hoping that it might not be found, rot and stink up their house…
Then I realized, by the look of them, that they would never even notice. It would just blend in with the other odors of their natural habitat.
Double Cola Revenge Play of the Day.