Tales from the “Choping Block” Deathisode 3 ” Brown Eye to the Sky”

Posted onApril 16, 2014
google.com, pub-2427795083793513, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0

Incredible artist by night. Locked away lonely butcher by day. He sees life from the other side of the glass. His “Tales from the Chop” are real. His outlook is slightly twisted. A part time Bouncer amongst the rows of dry goods when he is not cutting up the day’s morsels. His humor moves at the brush stroke of madness..He is for all practical purposes, a poetic Sweeney John. Hack on!

blood

Deathisode 3.

 

aaedganOkay.. So, today at work it was reported that there was a bum laying half naked out by the dumpster.
Oh yeah… You know I just had to see this.
When I walked out, I saw him laying there in all his glory.
Dead asleep (drink induced) pants around his ankles, brown eye to the sky…. His pale and pasty skin shining in the sunlight.
Another bum that was on the scene said that he had been there drinking with yet another bum.
Apparently, when Van Winkle went to teepy town his drinking partner robbed him of his bottle and whatever possessions he had. (Probably a week’s worth of aluminum cans)
I didn’t have the nerve to ask why his pants were down.
Somewhere a dog barked.

Double Cola Quote of the Week.

Tales from the “Choping Block” Deathisode 2 Bubbles and Pee-Eye

Posted onFebruary 13, 2014
google.com, pub-2427795083793513, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0

Incredible artist by night. Locked away lonely butcher by day. He sees life from the other side of the glass. His “Tales from the Chop” are real. His outlook is slightly twisted. A part time Bouncer amongst the rows of dry goods when he is not cutting up the day’s morsels. His humor moves at the brush stroke of madness..He is for all practical purposes, a poetic Sweeney John. Hack on!

blood

Deathisode 2.

 

aaedganOkay…So, today at work a fight broke out between two female gutter rats (Let’s call them Bubbles and Pee-Eye).
Coming in on the middle of it, I could only assume that it was over who was the better Bingo player.
When I arrived on the scene, Bubbles was armed and ready to throw a can of vegetables (Creamed corn, actually) and poor Pee-Eye only with a purse that was obviously purchased from the 1970’s oversized handbag section of the local trash mart.
The manager and I stepped in between them and amidst the threats and swearing we were able to learn what happened…
The two ladies had been coming down the same aisle from opposite ends and each spotted a discarded scratch off lottery ticket.
Both claimed ownership and the fight began.
The manager took the ticket, examined it and informed them that it was not a winner.
This made no difference to the mouthy, mobile dung heaps, as they continued to go bitchcakes on each other.
The manager told them both to leave the store or he would call the police.
Bubbles screamed, “Call the Law! I’ll put them down, too!”
The manager pulled his phone and the women went silent.
He told them to go off in different directions and to exit the store.
As they were departing, Bubbles made one last statement….”Keep that bitch away from me or I’m gonna kick her in the fish bucket!”
Yep…Fish Bucket.
Double Cola Quote of the Week.

Tales from the “Choping Block”

Posted onFebruary 12, 2014
google.com, pub-2427795083793513, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0

bloody-knife1Incredible artist by night. Locked away lonely butcher by day. He sees life from the other side of the glass. His “Tales from the Chop” are real. His outlook is slightly twisted. A part time Bouncer amongst the rows of dry goods when he is not cutting up the day’s morsels. His humor moves at the brush stroke of madness..He is for all practical purposes, a poetic Sweeney John. Hack on!

blood

Deathisode 1.

john_n

Okay…So, today at work this Swamp Ape (A southern term for Bigfoot) came lumbering through, complete with offspring.
The piece of trash, sporting long blonde hair that looked as if it were washed in mayonnaise, was busy on her phone and was not paying attention to Chaka.
The kid started puncturing a package of ground beef with his fingers and licking them.
This happens more often than you might think….
Neglectful, trashy inbreds letting their kids tear up everything in sight and act completely oblivious to the situation.
Well…Not on my watch.
First, I stepped in and told the kid to stop, picked up the damaged package and presented to Mrs. Yeti and explained what had happened.
She looked at me and said, “Well, I didn’t see him do it and I ain’t payin’ for it.”
I returned fire by saying, “No worries. It’s not as if we would make any money off of your welfare card, anyway.”
We continued to exchange barbs and realizing she was dealing with a higher primate went off in a huff, child following behind, mumbling some crazy moon language that I couldn’t understand.
Before making a complete exit, I was able to take a few fingers of ground beef from the damaged package and drop it inside the hood of her coat.
I was hoping that it might not be found, rot and stink up their house…
Then I realized, by the look of them, that they would never even notice. It would just blend in with the other odors of their natural habitat.
Double Cola Revenge Play of the Day.

Chick Fight…Who wins? “Ransom” or “Butcher Babies”?

Posted onDecember 12, 2012
google.com, pub-2427795083793513, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0

“Ransom’ is an old school band from the early 90’s… This sound had an 80’s guitar riff and the chick vocals to back it up…

 

“Butcher Babies” actual has two chicks in it. One “screamer” and one “singer”…One can’t really beat the Wendy o Williams tribute!

So which band comes out on top? Or bottom? Or both? Or does it matter? Girl on Girl is no a crime 🙂 Please VOTE!