Archive for April 1st, 2009

Congrats to our March Movie Contest Winners!!

Did you hear me say “WINNERS”?

That’s right! We here at Kickacts decided to pick 3 winners for March instead of just one! See what you missed by not entering??? You can redeem yourself by entering this month’s contest. It’s open to anyone other than the Staff at KA… And the Prizes keep getting cooler and cooler!!! So what are you waiting for, a KISS reunion? We already had that. Pluto to be named a planet again? Likely not gonna happen. The Government to admit that UFO’s really do exist? Not gonna happen. Someone finding BigFoot? Well, so far that hasn’t happened either. So you want the answers? Guess at them or google, we don’t care but play along with us alright?… And remember, everyone that enters whether they get them all right or not goes into the prize hat and the winner will be drawn from that!!!

To the Winners of March’s contest. Your stuff will be in the mail shortly!!

And here are last month’s answers. 1. B   2. C   3. A    4. C   5. C

Staff

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Posted by Chuck Gee - April 1, 2009 at 8:47 AM

Categories: General   Tags:

Incident At Cabela’s

A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday.. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Cabela’s associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, ‘Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?’

He says, ‘Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.’

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, ‘That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It’s a good all around combination; and it’s on sale this week for only $20.00.’

She says, ‘It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!’ As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

‘Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,’ he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around?

The man rings up the sale and says, ‘That’ll be $34.50 please.’

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, ‘Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?’

He replies, ‘Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.’

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - April 1, 2009 at 7:58 AM

Categories: Humor   Tags:

YouTube what is up with you?

OK just a rant/question, but why is it that I can’t get the music videos I want. You know, to post them on myspace, or what ever web space I have. It usually says Embedding disabled by request, and under that is shows Contains Content From: what ever company that owns the content. (I.E. Capitol Music Group)

Why the hell are they afraid of losing money from a free sharing site? Shit, all we want to do is post a video of our favorite band or favorite song. 90% of people the post the videos for us have either got them from a site that let them get the video for free because that site already payed for it. Where is the lost money? If someone tries to make a tribute video to whoever and they use the music they payed for, a week later or so, the video gets pulled down or the auido track is pulled. What the fuck?

If you ask me this is counter productive. If there is a song on a tribute video on youtube, I will go look for that CD and most likely buy it, as will most. Oh well, I guess it will only get worse.

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Posted by Chuck Gee - April 1, 2009 at 7:55 AM

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Joke sent in by our friend David Burris

At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said,  “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?”

“Good question”, noted the Rabbi. “We save them up and send them back to the candle makers,  and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.”

“Oh, okay”, replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.  But on he went, in his obnoxious way,  “What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?”

“Ah, yes”, replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.  “We collect them and send them back to the biscuit manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits.”

“I see!” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.  “Well, Rabbi”, he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”

“Here, too, we do not waste”, answered the Rabbi.  “We save up all the foreskins and send them to the  IRS,  and once a year they send us a complete dick.”

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Posted by Chuck Gee - April 1, 2009 at 7:28 AM

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April’s Monthly Movie Contest

April’s Movie questions!! Guess or Google we don’t care but at least play!!

1. “The needs of the many, out weigh the needs of a few, or of the “one”….

a. “Star Trek ” The Wrath of Kahn”

b. “Starship Troopers”

c. “The Ten Commandments”

2. “Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors. Beware of the moon, lads”

a. “TeenWolf”

b. Night of the living Dead”

c. “Amercian Werewolf in London”

3. “Smile you Son of a Bitch”

a. “Road House”

b. “Aliens”

c. “Jaws”

4.”This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin’ around with those show folk fags.”

a. “Smokey and the Bandit”

b. “Porkies”

c. Revenge of the Nerds”

5. What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

a. “For Richer or Poorer”

b. “Fried Green Tomatoes”

c. “Blazing Saddles”

That’s it!! Be sure to send your answers to chuck@kickacts.com. Include your real name and mailing address. Everyone that enters will be in the drawing for the prize whether you get them all right or not!!

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Posted by Chuck Gee - April 1, 2009 at 1:00 AM

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