Humor

A 20-year-old Jewish girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting and crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want
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Welfare Check A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi.  You know, I just HATE drawing welfare, I’d really rather have a job.” The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening
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After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Darling, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old girl.
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Obama is the shepherd I did not want. He leadeth me beside the still factories. He restoreth my faith in the Republican party. He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line, I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are
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A son asked his mother the following question: ‘Mom, why are wedding dresses white?’ The mother looks at her son and replies: ‘Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.’ The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. ‘Dad why are wedding dresses white?’ The
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I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?” CEOs are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them. Hot
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Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she said, ”Mabel, do you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?’ Mabel answered, ‘I have a suppository in my ear?’ She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, ‘Ethel, I’m
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A woman named Edna finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she’s in serious financial trouble. She’s so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray…’ God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my
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