4 AM Casino Piss Break

Editor’s Note: This was submitted by our good friend Lee!!

I work as a poker room host in a casino in SW Michigan. My shift is from 10pm till 6am, which kinda sux, but has it’s merits too. I will admit that it’s not as interesting as Wal-mart at 4am……but close! On this particular evening, I head over to the restroom to take a much needed break. In the restrooms here, there are a bank of stand up johns on one side of the room, then the stalls on the other side of the room. Above each of the standing units, there are small shelves to put your drink on while you take care of your business. On this particular occasion, it was about 3:30am. There are 8 stand up stalls and I take #7. Immediately after I take my position, another fella comes in. He’s got a red ball cap on, light blue denim shirt, blue jeans and a pair of white tennis shoes. I would say this gentleman is in his mid 60s and on 1st glance, would think he is part of the farming community. He takes the #2 position on the wall and lets out a sigh of relief. Remember the shelves above the urinals I spoke of? This guy leans foreward to spit into the urinal…and hits the bill of his hat on the shelf. He jerks backwards as his hat dislodges from his melon, and the hat proceeds to fall down towards…well…where it shouldn’t be headed. I see this commotion out of the corner of my eye and turn to my right in time to see 2…yup…2 hands moving up to catch the hat before it hits the pool. At the same time I see the hands…I also see the “fountain of youth” shoot skyward. Yea…exactly…so not only is the hat headed for the drink…there is an unattended fire hose on the loose and it’s going EVERYWHERE! Shoes…shirt (light blue denim mind you)…floor…wall……everywhere. I’m having a hard enough time suppressing my own snickers, let alone keeping my “business” aimed where it should be. Poor guy is cussin’ a blue streak the whole time and wouldn’t you know it…the hat made it down to no man’s land after all. I quickly finish up and move to the sinks to wash up…and a few moments later…”red-hat-pee-guy” comes around the corner with his soaked red hat in hand and begins to wash it out in the sink…cussing to himself the whole time. His denim shirt and jeans definitely showed the signs of battle, and…well…let’s not even talk about that hat. I didn’t see him the rest of the evening…but he will forever be remembered in casino lore as……”Red-Hat-Pee-Guy”!

Lee A. Ramirez
Poker Host

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