Shoulda Bought A Hat
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An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, ‘Notice anything different about me?’
Margaret looked him over… ‘Nope.’
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, ‘Notice anything different NOW?’
Margaret looked up and exclaimed, ‘Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow!!’
Furious, Bert yelled, ‘AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?’
‘Nope,’ she replied.
‘IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!’
Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, ‘Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.’
Categories: Humor Tags:
Unstimulating Stimulus Check
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Dear Madam Hawk,
My stimulus check didn’t stimulate my old lady at all. I tried to rub it all over her the other night after the Lion’s Club auction and she just turned over and went to sleep. The next day she got up early and got all dolled up and left with the check. She even put her good teeth in. What’s a guy to do now?
Signed,
These Heels Have Thighs
Dear These Heels Have Thighs,
Don’t you know that rubbing her with an uncashed check means squat these days? As the saying goes “Bring home the money honey!” Looks like you won’t be getting gummed anymore. One way to control the situation is hide her teeth! About the check, at least something got blown. As for stimulating, ask her when she gets home.
Madam Hawk
Categories: General Tags:
Categories: General Tags:
