Author Archive

Sermon Canceled!

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There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the
congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green Persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green Persimmons, though, ‘because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won’t be able to talk properly for a while’. She agreed to try it. The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said… ‘Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday.

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 28, 2009 at 1:00 AM

Categories: Humor   Tags:

Ten Questions With Slick Willy’s Brian Hart

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1) Welcome to Kick Acts, Brian. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m 36, originally from Marion, Ky. I have 2 girls and am married. I have been playing guitar since I was 10 and playing bars since I was 19. I played in country bands for years then I joined MINX I was lead vocals and back up guitar with them for 3 years. I stopped playing for 2 years and then formed Slick Willy. I have played in Nashville a little. I was showcased on Music Row for about 6 months but that did’nt last. Still have the desires of making the big time though.

2) You’re currently in a band called Slick Willy. Tell us who’s in the band and how we can find you online.

Dan Biggs, Steve Krietzer, and Kevin Woods and you can find us at myspace.com/slickwillybandrocks

3) What equipment do you use?

My personal gear is a 88 Tele (USA). I play through a Marshall 2550 head and an ADA 2 12 cabinet. Boss and Danelectro effects. I own the P.A. It is JBL JRX tops, 4 single 18 CGM bottoms, Mackie 1604 mixer, Lexicon effects, Behringer eq’s, Behringer crossover, Behringer 2500 amp, and Crown XTI 4000 amp. Behringer monitors and Behringer 12 channel mixer. LED light system. Shure mics.

Slick Willy4) How long have you been a musician? Tell us about some of your experiences.

Since I was 10. The bands I’ve been are Rushin Heart, NightLife, Wide Open, Minx, and Slick Willy. Played with alot of start up projects that never got out of the garage. When I was in the band called Night Life we was one of 5 that opened for Travis Tritt in Metropolis Illinois. I have played guitar with the guitar player for Merle Haggard. I have met alot of songwriters in Nashville and became friends with a few that have wrote for Tim McGraw, George Straight, and Gary Allen. I set in on guitar with Wild Horses one weekend. They had a song out called “Ride Cowboy Ride”

5) Do you have a greatest gig story you’d like to share?

When I was in MINX. We where playing Charles (Double Dukes now) one night and it was packed. Great house full of people. Anyway the drummer Shawn Chambliss had trouble being on time getting back on stage. Well it was hot, middle of summer, 3 sets into the night, and we where on break for about 15 minutes. NO SHAWN!!! So we waited and waited. Finally I got on the mic and said “Shawn Chambliss come to the stage. I did’nt even notice the side doors of the bar open. Someone from the crowd said ” He’s in the f@#kin pool man”!! He came on stage ‘Finally” and played the rest of the night in wet cloths. The next day he could not move because the wet cloths caused him to have rashes on his legs from where his wet pants where rubbing him raw. hahaha

Adult!!!!

Another was we where playing one night “in MINX”. The floor was packed and there was about 10 girls right up front. Of course Preston Buzzard, Shane Breedlove and me picked out a girl that was hot and kinda stood in front of her. Well she was trying to be sexy and she was until it happened. She unbuttoned her pants, pulled them down a little, and stuck her finger in her pussy. YES it was hot……………but then it hit us…………I SWEAR IT STUNK UP THE WHOLE STAGE!!!! In one motion we where all on the other side of the stage. hahaha

6) Worst gig?

I had a band about 13 14 years ago called Night Life. We where playing at Hopkinsville Eagles( Yea I Know) and things where good but not great. Me, Shawn Chambliss, Darrel Cavinaugh, and Mike Perkins. Friday night we had a good crowd. Mike and Darrel got hammered. Darrell was the worst he destroyed almost every song we did. I could’nt take it. At the end of the 3rd set I decided to confront him and he started CRYING! So I backed off trying to just get through the night. Mike was a “Mad Drunk”. He was mad cause he felt I made Darrell cry. At the end of EVERY song I would look over and Darrel had tears just F#$KIN rollin down his face. The man is at the time was 42 years old. Anyway we finished the night with almost a fist fight in the parking lot. I ended up firing both of them on the spot.

We still had Saturday to go and I called Randy Stone to play bass. Never played or practiced together. We played 3 piece. We played Saturday night and I swear there was people coming up to us saying ” Yall are a lot better than that band they had last night, one bastard on stage was even cryin!”

To top it all off we loaded up. Sat in the parking lot and talked for awile. Then left. Drove half way home and realized during my talking I put my guitar down in the parking lot. Thats right left the F#$kin thing right there in the middle of the parking lot. Had to drive an hour back to get it. Thank God it was still there. Its not the best neighborhood.

7) What inspired you to become a musician?

I always loved music. Any kind. I guess my grandpa. He played. My Dad played and sang to.

8) Who are your musical heroes & why?

Stevie Ray Vaughn, Jeff Healy, Gary Moore, because of the emotion they put into their guitar work. Brad Paisley because he is just a bad ass guitar player.

9) Do you have any advice for someone just getting started in this musical era?

Don’t stick to one style. Buy the best gear you can find and afford. Find people who have the same direction as you and are MOTIVATED to help. Don’t be affraid to try something different. DON”T TAKE NO SH$T!!!!!

10) This one really isn’t a question, it’s where you get to answer what I didn’t ask. SHOUT IT OUT LOUD!

The economy is terrible. The government has to do something. People can’t keep this up. Obama, hope you can fix the f@#k ups!

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 27, 2009 at 3:00 AM

Categories: Ten Questions   Tags:

Pay It Forward

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I have a challenge for you. Do something nice for someone without expectation of anything in return. It can be something as small as holding a door open for someone or something major like changing a flat tire. Too often, people are so caught up in their own world that they don’t notice (or choose not to help) the people around them. I’ve done it, now it’s your turn. Pay it forward.

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 26, 2009 at 9:39 AM

Categories: General   Tags:

Peanuts Linus Sings The Police

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[youtube]6AvBL2Mx2xA[/youtube]

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 26, 2009 at 9:31 AM

Categories: Humor   Tags:

Financial Planning

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Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit $200 million.”

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 23, 2009 at 6:37 AM

Categories: Humor   Tags:

Wasted Rock Ranger

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Just a little “old school” rock and roll humor for you. Enjoy!

[youtube]ydsuqDwaooc[/youtube]

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 22, 2009 at 9:14 AM

Categories: Morning Coffee   Tags:

Let’s Give It To The Bankers

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Here’s a humorous video about the current financial situation.

[youtube]_6DIktq3KIs[/youtube]

Please visit the Uke Jackson website for more of his music and a free download of this song.

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 20, 2009 at 8:12 AM

Categories: Al's News & Reviews   Tags:

Government Bailout Special

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Government Bailout Special

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 19, 2009 at 12:27 PM

Categories: Humor, Politics & Religion   Tags:

Comments From An Iraq War Veteran

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Editor’s note: This interview is anonymous at the request of the interviewee.

First off, the staff here at Kick Acts deeply appreciates all members and branches of the military and your commitment to our security. It’s men and women like you protect this great nation that make us very proud. We salute you.

1.  What was your first impression of Iraq?

After all the training we went through, some of us that hadn’t been there before were real nervous at first.

2. Is it anything like we see over here on TV in the United States?

I dont think it is. All these newscasters that say they’re there really aren’t. They’re standing in front of a green screen and talking shit.

3. Do you think the U.S. news media is/was biased or non-biased of its coverage of the war?

From what I saw, they were on both sides but they are all pissed and think we are they for the wrong reasons. The thing is that they only get part of the story cause it is OPSEC (operational secturity) and if they know they could put us in more danger than what we are already in.

4. How did it affect the morale of you and your fellow soldiers?

I think it let a lot of us more or less know how valuable life really is and not to take anything for granted.

5. How important was it to get care packages or did you receive any at all?

When anybody got care packages, it was a lot like Christmas because we would get what we wanted and what we needed and everyone shared. We were like a bunch of kids.

6. What did you do to let off some of the steam when you weren’t on duty?

I would blow of my steam by going to the gym.

7. What was the scariest moment you experienced over there?

The scariest moment for me was when the lead truck and second truck took a blast from an IED. I was in the back and didn’t have very good communication with any of the trucks in the front and didn’t really know for sure that everyone was alright.

8. Would you like to address the anti-war people here in the United States that said the war was a waste of time and unwinnable?

In some points they are right. We are not going to stop those dumbass people from fighting each other because it’s all they know how to do. I mean, they’ve been at war for thousand of years and we are not going to stop them. The main reason we’re there is to show them that they can’t bring that shit into our home and we will put a stop to it, one way or another.

9. Do you think our commander in chief did a good job?

I think he made a big decision and stood behind it the whole time he was in office. We haven’t had really any more problems on the home front since we went over there, other than the economy.

10. Here’s where you get to answer a question we didn’t ask. We call this section of the interview “Shout It Out Loud” where you get to say whatever you want.

If I was single, I would go back in a heart beat. I can’t say it’s fun but you get to do stuff that you can’t really do here every day. I’m all for staying there as long as we need. If we pull out now I think it could be a bad thing for America. I was in Iraq for a year and it was in a lot better shape when we left than whe we got there. I can’t say a whole lot about the Afganistan war other than it’s gonna be a long time before we get everyone out of there, if ever.

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 19, 2009 at 7:47 AM

Categories: Al's News & Reviews   Tags:

Bring Trish Back To WABX

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On the same day that we posted the “Getting Naked With Trish Knight” article, we learned that she’d been relieved of her duties at the station. As far as we’re concerned, Trish Knight is the reason WABX is so popular. We have started a petition for folks to sign so we can let the station know how folks feel about her dismissal. Please take a moment and sign it. http://www.kickacts.com/petition/

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - March 17, 2009 at 10:50 AM

Categories: General   Tags:

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