Here’s another “Not fair” one for my file….

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I took this from Blabbermouth. Here’s the link..
STRYPER singer Michael Sweet‘s wife Kyle Rae Sweet passed away on March 5, 2009 after a two-year battle with ovarian cancer. She was only 52 years old.

Michael and Kyle met when she was hired to do makeup for STRYPER‘s first video, “You Know What To Do”. They married in 1986 and had two children — Michael Jr. and Ellena — who are now 22 and 18 years old, respectively.

In message posted on his web site a few days before Kyle‘s death, Michael wrote about his wife, “Kyle was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer in February of 2007. Standing by her side and seeing her physically and emotionally face this horrible disease, I’ve realized that not only is she the love of my life, she is an angel and the most inspirational person I’ve ever known.

“I’ve stood faithful and hopeful in prayer through this battle, yet to see my love suffer and endure the pain and discomfort that she has over the past two years breaks my heart into a million pieces. No one deserves this, especially Kyle.

“You see, she is the backbone of our family, a pillar of strength, and as unselfish as one can be. She doesn’t want any credit for anything she does but truth be known — she deserves all credit. She is the perfect wife, mother and such a blessing to everyone she meets. I constantly wrestle with the reality of this monster that invades her body and I can tell you that it’s been a tremendous struggle to see my wife so sick. I have felt so helpless and at times completely hopeless, but I know I must be strong for my family and be that pillar of strength too, as she’s been throughout our marriage of almost 23 years.

“Throughout I have seen Kyle‘s heart, strength and determination in ways that I’ve never seen before. She’s never complained and always brought joy to those caring for her and those around her. Surgery after surgery, treatment after treatment and feeling so sick for the past two years, she’s been an encouragement and an example of faith to everyone.

“I love you my dear and there is no way for me to repay you for what you have given to me. I hold you within my heart for now and forevermore.”

Read more at MichaelSweet.com.

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Posted by Chuck Gee - March 6, 2009 at 10:10 AM

Categories: General   Tags:

Political Joke..or is it?

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Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news … the horse died.” Chuck replied,  “Well, then just give me my money back.” The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Chuck said, “OK, then, just bring me the dead horse.”

The farmer said, “What are you going to do with a dead horse?” Chuck said, “I’m going to raffle him off.” The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!” Chuck said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?” Chuck said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.” The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?” Chuck said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.” Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He’s the one who figured out how this “bail-out” is going to work.

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Posted by Chuck Gee - March 4, 2009 at 8:25 AM

Categories: Humor, Politics & Religion   Tags:

Jokes 03-4-2009

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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?”

He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.”

****

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

****

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

****

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely” to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said “The sky is definitely blue”. The teacher said, “Well, that isn’t entirely correct, because sometimes it’s gray and cloudy”.

Another student says, “Grass is definitely green.” The teacher again replies “If grass doesn’t get enough water it turns brown, so that isn’t really correct either.”

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher “Do farts have lumps?” The teacher looked at him and said, “No…But that isn’t really a question you want to ask in class discussion.” So the student replies, “Then I definitely shit my pants.”

****

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. “Mom”, the boy asks, “What’s a pussy?”

The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says “Son, that is a pussy.” the son then asks “What’s a bitch?” The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says “Son, this is a bitch.”

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says “Dad, what’s a pussy?” The father doesn’t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says “Son, this is a pussy!”

The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks “Then, what is a bitch?”

The dad replies, “That’s everything outside the circle!”

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Posted by Chuck Gee - March 4, 2009 at 8:21 AM

Categories: Humor   Tags:

Update on Double Dukes … 03-03-2009

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OK, first off. Grips, you keep busting my chops for a lack of Double Dukes updates and that’s OK. But let’s clarify something first. I have sent sincere and legit questions to two current band members in MINX. Most of the questions were going to allow them free publicity for their band and hobbies like we give everyone else and they each received one question concerning Double Dukes. Secondly, Al and I both have sent emails and legit questions to Eddie Crunk. Same story. We basically offered him free publicity and a sounding board too. Granted we are a small online magazine but in January we had over 63,000 hits.  It was a lot of search engine hits, but it’s still hits. So, we got the same results from all three of them. In other words…Crickets, crickets, crickets. Nothing … Maybe they are waiting to submit them but it’s been weeks and if they are reading this, we are a “neutral” webmag. We give both sides the opportunity and let you, the reader decide.

So on to my update. I did slip into Double Dukes around 8:50pm last Saturday night on 02/28/2009. There wasn’t a cover charge that night or if it was, I some how managed to slip past it. The place is basically the same as before as far as appearance. Well, except it had a lot more people in it that night. It wasn’t packed out but it was a good size crowd and that  was something that Double Dukes had been lacking for awhile. The band was “BMG Holler and Swaller” from Madisonville. I looked around and I saw a lot of cowboy hats and a few biker type guys. I went to the bar and asked for a beer. The bartenders were all dressed in country clothes and cowboy hats. They were pleasant and were talking with the customers at the bar. I didn’t recognize anyone so I took off upstairs to get a seat. The upstairs was well lite up and both pool tables were busy. The band was supposed to start at 9pm and one of my pet peeves is not starting on time. Which they didn’t. They didn’t start until 9:15pm. They started sound checking at 9pm. Another one of my pet peeves is for the guitar players (and I am one but I don’t do this) is to turn his gear on and stand there and warm up with the volume up while the sound check is going on. It’s totally unprofessional and yes, I have had people in my bands do the same shit going all the way back to my first band. It’s like they are trying to impress the crowd before the band starts by showing  off their chops off and shit. Look, I understand you have to warm up, but keep the volume off. So anyway,after the guitar player, who BTW is a great guitar player was done showing off, the band started. It was show time. First set consisted  of all country songs. Some I have heard and some I haven’t. The band’s myspace page said they do it all, from country to Ac/Dc. Well, I didn’t hear any Ac/Dc but they did play a country fried version of “Sweet Home Alabama”. Just my opinion but it was a dud but the crowd liked it anyway. The band kicked out one country song after another and encouraged the crowd to “Holler and Swaller” and that they did. They did a good job of getting the crowd rowdy. It’s good for the business and sells beer. I am not a fan of today’s country music. Well, most of it. I really try. I like old country but today’s country music to me is so mechanical and dumb-downed … But that’s just my opinion. The band was hopping and so was  the crowd and it looks like even though Double Dukes has changed its format over to country, it is working for the bar. Congrats to Eddie and I wish him much success. By 9:45pm I had all the country I could stand for one night so I jetted and went home and put in a KISS DVD to cleanse myself. But I’ll be back  to Double Dukes to review the bands and see how the bar is doing. And Eddie and the guys from MINX, feel free to submit your answers anytime here. We will still put them up.

chuck gee

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Posted by Chuck Gee - March 3, 2009 at 3:18 PM

Categories: General   Tags:

My Predictions For The Not Too Distant Future …

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1. America will be shaken to the core. The same individuals that put an inexperienced person into the Presidential Office will regret their decision to vote for him.

2. We will discover life on other planets. They have to be teeming with life. We are not alone.

3. Jesus will not return anytime soon but you will meet him when you die so as the bible says. “Be Prepared”.

4. Paper money will be done away with and no one will accept it anymore. Only Plastic transactions will take place.

5. The poor that are benefiting from the all the free money the President is giving them will be asked a great task of them. They will serve as a national defense police type force. Meaning they will spy on us and turn us in. Think it can’t happen? Look up Germany around 1939 to 1945. Look up Hawaii around the same time. People turning people in as spies. Their neighbors, their friends, co-workers. You will be considered an enemy of the State.

6. The Mexican drug violence will spill over into the United States streets and we will be powerless to stop it despite the Government trying to stop it. We will eventually declare war on Mexico because of  it. The illegal immigrants living here now will turn on the Unites States and become terrorists.

7. We will pull all troops out of Iraq and it will struggle as a democratic State for a few years and then collapse back into what it was before we took out Saddam.

8. Our economy will fail only because of the leaders that we have in place are spreading fear. If they continue to paint it as doom and gloom, the American people will feel that way and it will fall.

More to come… comments welcome …

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Posted by Chuck Gee - March 3, 2009 at 8:46 AM

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I have to agree with Clint Eastwood …

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He recently gave an interview concerning inoffensive racist jokes and about the difference in our races and how people have forgotten to laugh at them instead of hollering foul. Foul being my words, not Clint’s. Before I print his interview I want to give a few examples of what I have noticed. I watch B.E.T. and I am a white guy with some Native American in my blood line. OK, big deal, my grandmother was full blooded Cherokee. OK, now that we have cleared that, back to what I was talking about. B.E.T. stands for Black Entertainment Television. Very few white performers are ever on there. It doesn’t bother me and I am not offended. It’s a “black” entertainment channel founded by black  people for mainly black people. I understand that and I still watch the channel all the time and there are some funny comedians on there. I have sit and laughed my ass off when they make fun of white people because, well, even though it’s  typical “Stereotyping”, for the most part we, as white people or, a “white” race, act that way. Dave Chapelle is another great black comedian. His impersonations of white people are also funny as hell. So I get the jokes. I get the  “racial” jokes they tell and I laugh and I laugh hard. I never get offended. So what gives? My question is why are the racial jokes they (as in Black entertainers) are allowed tell are only  on a “one way street”. To clarify what I am saying. Black comedians have a free pass to call us Cracker, Whitie, Honkie, ghost and a whole bunch of other racial words and can do this on TV. Once again, hear me out. I think it’s funny. I “get” the jokes. I get the jabs. To me it’s not offensive, it’s called “Blue Humor”. But any other comedian other than  another black Ccmedian cannot make fun of the black race without someone calling foul …  Michael Richards, (Kramer from Seinfeid) was heckled by some black guys in a comedy club one night. Mike then  lost his cool and  used the “N” word back at them. Well, he might as well of fell off the face of the earth. He was branded a racist, had to meet with black leaders, Listen to Al Sharpton’s rhetoric on all the news channels and by tht way, old Al Sharpton is a racist himself a racist against white people but that’s a different story. And to top it all off, the guys in the comedy club that heckled Michael first, turned around sued him for damages. They started it, he lost it, he used the big “n” word and bam, he’s the bad guy and is out of pocket and placed on the “do not hire” sheet. Now  I am not advocating hateful offensive words that are meant  to be mean at all. It’s the silly little jokes and phrasing that I am talking about. If you want to demean someone, well, that’s not cool at all. It’s not right for white people to do it and it shouldn’t be right for black people to do it either. The guys that heckled Mike, should have been asked to leave the club when they started it and the color thing should have never entered the picture. They started it, they should leave. Cut and dry. But it’s not that way. I know I have used the color issue on my part today concerning Clint’s statements but it goes deeper than that. Gays get offended if they are made fun of even in a relative way. Mexicans get offended  too. Miley Cyrus took a photo with some Asian kids and she pulled her eyes up in a slanted position and shit hit the fan. She had to go into damage control. Why? You think she deliberately thought she would do that to piss off a whole nation of uptight people? Hell no, she was being silly. She’s only what 16? She probably doesn’t even see race  but the politically correct police do and they pounced on her. So in closing, I would like to tell all the uptight people no matter what race you are from, get over it and laugh a little. Loosen up your pants a little bit and enjoy the inoffensive jokes. To my Mexican friends that get offended at being stereotyped in jokes. If you didn’t yourself, you know someone in your family that swam across the Rio Grande to get here and you know a family member that drives a dropped chopped classic car. Laugh at it and get over it, I mean no harm. To my Asian friends, well your eyes are slanted, get over it and laugh a little and poke fun at us white folks. I love a good joke. To my black friends, I had nothing to do with slavery, it was a horrible time for your ancestors I totally agree. Don’t forget what happened but don’t hold me or anyone today accountable for it. The perpetrators  all have since passed on. Besides that, me being part Indian, my ancestors lost the land you and every one else now occupies. I have gotten over it. Every one on both sides have long since passed on too. Teach the history of it, don’t let it happen again but don’t blame anyone today for it. So yes my black friend, most of you do like chicken and watermelon, correct? So what, I do too. Well I hate watermelon only because I ate a ton of it when I was a kid so I am burnt out on it.  So when someone brings up a watermelon or chicken joke, laugh a little and toss one back at us. To my Jewish friends, yes, you are the most tight-wadded people on the planet so we are gonna point that out. It’s funny as hell. Get over it and laugh a little and poke fun back at us. And me being white and part Indian. I can drink like a fish but I can’t dance worth a shit…HAHA. I got a double whammy!! I’ll laugh at myself. It’s embarrassing when I try to dance. I wish I could but I can’t. I envy my black friends that have natural rhythm, I sure wish I did but I don’t. To may Gay friends. Well, you do act like Diva’s and it’s funny as hell. So let up a little and laugh about it too and get over yourself!!

So there, I’m finished. We are all different. Let’s embrace our differences and so what if we get made fun of a little. Laughing is good for you. And now for Clint Eastwood’s interview look below. I have included the link and the interview.

chuck gee

http://news.softpedia.com/news/We-Should-Laugh-at-Racist-Jokes-Clint-Eastwood-Says-105519.shtml

The other day, legendary actor and director Clint Eastwood has made a very powerful stand as to what political correctness has come to mean and the way it influences our life. We should all be able to laugh at inoffensive jokes about different races without being labeled racists, Eastwood believes, as he tells Germany’s Der Spiegel magazine.

It’s not that Eastwood is encouraging racism under any form, he says, it’s just that this whole concept of political correctness has been carried so far that it’s now hard to open your mouth to say something without someone finding offense with it. And it shouldn’t necessarily be so, the actor thinks. Of course, we can always change by learning to laugh again, even if the joke that gets us giggling could be interpreted as racist.

“People have lost their sense of humor.” Eastwood tells the magazine. “In former times, we constantly made jokes about different races. You can only tell them today with one hand over your mouth, otherwise you will be insulted as a racist. I find that ridiculous. In those earlier days every friendly clique had a ‘Sam the Jew’ or ‘Jose the Mexican’ – but we didn’t think anything of it or have a racist thought. It was normal that we made jokes based on our nationality or ethnicity. That was never a problem.” the actor adds.

It’s not so much that the times have changed, or the jokes have gotten worse, but that the concept of political correctness has taught us to see bad things no matter where we look. This is precisely why Eastwood will have nothing to do with it, choosing instead to keep his sense of humor and respect for all the other races out there. “I don’t want to be politically correct. We’re all spending too much time and energy trying to be politically correct about everything.” the actor concludes by saying.

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Posted by Chuck Gee - February 28, 2009 at 7:21 PM

Categories: Morning Coffee   Tags:

Joke of the Day

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A guy goes to his girlfriend and says, “I’m gonna get a 100 doller bill tattooed on my dick.”

She says “Why”?

He explains … “I love playing with my money, I love watching it grow and the next time you want to blow money at the mall you can just suck my dick instead.”

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Posted by Chuck Gee - February 28, 2009 at 5:25 PM

Categories: Humor   Tags:

Grandpa Gets Audited

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The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thou sand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’

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Posted by Allen D. Tate - February 25, 2009 at 9:42 AM

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For My Fellow Left Handed Friends, Here’s Proof We Are Geniuses :)

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And for my right handed friends that aren’t believers … I give you scientific proof.  Ok, Righties, don’t get pissed at me. Just giging at you. Enjoy the article. I did.

chuck gee

http://people.howstuffworks.com/left-handed.htm

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Posted by Chuck Gee - February 23, 2009 at 8:49 AM

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Movie Review “Gran Torino”

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clintMan what a freaking awesome movie!  My wife Denise and I watched this the other night. This is Clint Eastwood at his best! Now I suck at movie reviews because, well I want to talk about the movie and give away the ending by accident. So I’ll watch myself this time. Clint is playing the part of Walt,  a grumpy, unhappy  retired Ford Motor Company worker that also fought in the Korean War. His wife has just died and the all American neighborhood that he moved into 30 years ago is now being overrun by foreigners. He is set in his ways and opinions. He takes notice of the younger generation and how disrespectful they have become. Even his own kids and grand kids are disrespectful. His next door neighbors are foreigners and he has a certain way in the beginning of the movie on how to deal with them. In a nutshell, Walt doesn’t take any shit off of anyone and calls the game just how he sees it and on his own terms whether it’s the “Correct” way to call it or not. During the course of the movie his opinions change about his neighbors and vice versa. However, some of his old school opinions are validated too in the actions of other people. He also keeps a prized Gran Torino that he helped build and bought brand new in his garage. That’s all I am saying about that. Without going any further and spoiling it, this a great movie. I want to add here that if you are so tender hearted and politically correct that you are easily offended by words like “Super Spade”, “Egg Roll”, “Gook”, “Fish Head”‘ and “Pussy Dick” and a lot more insults like that in the same line, you might steer clear of this one. Those words are part of Walt’s make up and he is not always right … Ok, I was vague on the content of the movie to some extent. Check it out yourself, I think you’ll enjoy it. I give it 4 Dirty Harry’s out of 5. Running time is 1 hr 56 minutes

chuck gee

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Posted by Chuck Gee - February 23, 2009 at 8:48 AM

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